You know what Ms. Simone Simons? You can take your sexy, self-righteous ass and get the hell out of my metal. I mean really, does Epica's giant tour bus run on Al Gore’s dreams and Bono’s farts?  I get it, it is your soapbox and you may do what you please with it, but don’t go breaking your arm patting yourself on the back. This brand of social awareness guilt tripping reminds me of a certain someone in a little band called U2, whom I made mention of powering your tour bus earlier.  Do you really want to go down that road? 

This is like that old Keep America Beautiful commercial with the teary eyed Indian guy, you remember that abortion don’t you? Well this might just be worse for falling just shy of the ‘unintentionally funny’ category and right into the arms of just plain sad.  And much like how old Iron Eyes Cody turned out to be Espera Oscar de Corti, I imagine you probably hopped right onto a giant jetliner burning more fuel in a day than I will in my lifetime, went home and further enjoyed the fruits of the oil/logging/meat industries. 

I like the idea of it, but I have never really been able to get behind Epica. I am not much of a clean vocals fan, except when used as accents or in doom. So, when Czech symphonic-metal band, Arch of Hell came recommended to me from a good friend, it was a heaven (or hell) sent. You see, Arch of Hell takes all the epic-y goodness of Epica, strong female vocals and symphonic keys then adds a healthy dash of harsh vocals, tones down the pop-production and leaves the rest of the commercial crap behind them. I couldn't ask for more. They are not shy, however, about their affinity for drawing influence from Epica, stating them as one on their myspace page.

 I have been listening to a lot of Arch Of Hell lately and believe me when I say they will silence all the gothic/symphonic (whatever you want to call it) doubters. They certainty worked their magic on me. Arch of Hell's 2009 album, 'One Day' is available here.